Open book...

OK..I am still very negative about certain things happening in my life..this is in continuation to my blog on "Right to talk". As a kid I strongly believed in my life being an open book. No secrets and no lies. Me being (lazy) me, and with poor memory retention, I always found it difficult to remember what story I spun and to whom, especially after that big one I told to my mom (I will never forget the after effects).

I took this stand that I will be an open book. No secrets and no lies. O M G it is so difficult to do that today in a grown up life. Essential truth (not necessarily lies) are required, to make your kid happy, your in-laws happy, your parents happy and most important of all,to keep one self happy.

But of late this has gone to certain level in my life, that I distrust many in my circle. Rita told me today, that I start with distrust in every relationship. May be because of what I have gone thru in the adult life in last 1o years, I have such an attitude!!

But then there are these other individuals who claim to be simple and gullible and then protecting everything about their inner selves. I am led to the conflict of developing trust with the limited, outer self I know about these individuals or destructing the consciously hidden outer self.

Of course, I know I will never know anyone for what they are and need to learn to live with the limited knowledge of the outer self and also learn, at what point I need to scratch the surface and see into an inner self of a person.